Welcome To My Blog

For as long as I can remember, I have loved words and the meanings they convey. Perhaps I have put too much weight in what's spoken and not enough in action? I don't know. Even so, I treasure what's written; could it be that when something is written it represents follow through somehow? Perhaps it's some kind of covenant? I guess this blog is my search for what I can count on in this everchanging world. What will hold true tomorrow regardless of today? It seems that talk is cheap, even so, and I guess actions really do speak louder than words. With that being said, may these words tread carefully. May the actions that convey my heart's desires speak volumes more than these words ever could.

Now

NOW

I love you even now

Been so long here, how

Can space and crime allow

A remedy to our souls

I love you even now

Through the miles and motions

Will heart and mind align

Though remnants here decline

In between the facets

Of our yesterdays

Where smiles would linger

In the crux of the moment

When soul may smolder

I love you even now

Though you’re gone

With no chance to recover

My heart bleeds for the hope

Beyond my reach

I love you even now

It’s over

June 7^th, 2005 – 40^th birthday

Perhaps

PERHAPS

Perhaps there is a way

An avenue untrodded

A path that one must choose

Perhaps there’s a peace

A plain left unplotted

New heights where two may fuse

1997

NOBODY’S SWEETHEART

NOBODY’S SWEETHEART

Nobody’s sweetheart

But does it really matter

It’s a big world out there

The sky’s the limit

Can’t get a grip on

The turning of my soul

Feels like an open book that no one can read

Such a familiar ache of years in the making

Still end up in the same place

With different names

Endless as the sun escaping on the surface of the sea

This ache seems to linger on and on

Run to the harbor

Bank on the shore

Of this effervescent heart

Scarce is the wind on my face

Faint is the memory of your smile

Distant is the current, which curtails the reason

Nobody’s sweetheart

Words ringing in my head

Reminiscent of the mistakes I’ve made

Remnants of the words unsaid

In a swirl of sentiment

Searching for an answer

Left in the hollow questioning

Seeing You through the cancer

Of this forlorn heart, broken beyond repair

Still singing of your goodness

You’re the One incomprehensibly there

* * *

Florida - (2005 February – after watching The Notebook)

GUARD ON MY HEART

GUARD ON MY HEART

Let there be a guard upon my heart

For there’s a tenderness in me

I know it’s from You

Yet in myself I cannot shield from the world

The only source of strength – I’ve found is in You

You’re the one who loves me

Beyond all measure

The stars in the sky sing of your love for me

I wait for you here

All the beauty in this world displays your creativity

How You think of me – I do not understand

Your ways, oh Lord, are higher

Your love, oh Lord, vast beyond the sea

Your thoughts toward me – precious Lord,

You think of me

Your tenderness, Oh Lord, is what I seek

Let my eyes focus on you

The Maker of my soul

These longings stem from you

Yet here I know not what to do

So many questions linger in the haze of my mind

I cannot figure which way to go

Lord, I rest here in your comfort, so kind

Be the contentment of my soul

* * *

Florida - Nov. 2004

ALL YOU ARE

ALL YOU ARE

Didn’t mean to look at you

Didn’t mean to see with eyes anew

Didn’t mean to feel this way

Wasn’t looking and I couldn’t stay

Didn’t mean to notice you

Didn’t mean to find in you a jewel

And now I cannot breathe without you

I cannot see a thing without you there

I can’t see where you’re going

I don’t know where you are

But here I cast all my wishing stars

Didn’t mean to feel this way

Didn’t mean to wake up here and love you

Now I try to find a way

To make the best of each day

Didn’t mean to find you here

Didn’t mean to see your hand everywhere

All the beauty in this world

Is possessed in all you are and I want you

I can’t see where you’re going

I don’t know where you are

But here I cast all my wishing stars

IF YOU SHOULD GO AWAY

IF YOU SHOULD GO AWAY

If you should go away

Then my heart wouldn’t weep

For I’d know then we were made of clay

If I should wake and find you gone

Then my eyes wouldn’t cry

For I’d know this was a lie

Oh no, say it can’t be

That’s all just the guard on my heart

For I love you so, yet how can that be

How can I love you; I must be a fool

Should I show my face or bluff

Hide ‘til I know you love me too

I don’t know any other face

Than the one you see

This deck is dealt in its entirety

Either you love who I am

Or you perceive less than me

I cannot pretend to be more than whom you see

My face is unmasked

My body lies naked before you

I breathe you in yet never exhale

I taste your scent only to curtail

This longing within

Upon knowing your touch

Oh perhaps one day I’ll be sure

Of your yearning for this moment

Perhaps one day I’ll believe

You truly love me

11/20/05

GLIMMER OF HOPE

GLIMMER OF HOPE

~ A Day In The Prison Life ~

We are the same

You and me

The look in your eyes

Is one of pain

Seeking for a glimmer of hope

The limp in your stride

Is one of struggle

Yet the tears shed

Release and relieve

Grant a momentary levity

As I look into your eyes

I see all of us

We are the same

Sisters, brothers, fathers, mothers

All looking for the light of day

The glimmer of hope to restore our way

I wonder what has brought you here

What roads, which forks

Where you went left instead of right

Which pain did you choose to befriend

The one that betrays in the end

As it trips us up and holds us down

To choose a better way

To walk a narrower path

To dream a bolder view

To live instead of waste away

We are the same

You and me

Dec. 3, 2005 – Dallas, TX

AT YOUR BIDDING

AT YOUR BIDDING

What is it you receive from me, I’ll never quite know

Though I’m glad for the exchange just the same

Where have I been all your life; you ask how

I reply – making mistakes that would lead me to you

Though I can’t say I’m grateful for the pain in the path

Neither am I sad for the countless ways

I have missed the mark

Yet I would live it all over again if it meant

‘Twas the only way to be here with you now

For never have I known such compassion and grace

As it’s now reflected in you from my dear savior’s face

You must’ve known his mercy – to have walked in my shoes

Since now you speak to me, Love, where I’ve known disgrace

To tell you I love you is less than what’s real

I have longed for and sought for this moment to steal

On this earth you encompass the One I adore –

My Shepherd who has sought me and wooed me before

As you love my Lord with your very core, it’s true

My love is yours with passion yet to be unleashed

Your heart I adore, yet with longing I await

At your bidding, “dear come, let’s rest. . . stay”

DESCENDING ANGEL

DESCENDING ANGEL

How long have you been here with me

Is it just now I’m beginning to see

For what purpose were you sent quickly

The embrace of an angel is a mirror of mercy

You send a flood to cover

In this lonely sea of insanity

I’m not alone as I perceived

You reach to me with ease

I’m not alone as I feared

You render me such kindness

4/16/2000